As a woman, I suffer many ails that pertain specifically to my sex. Menstruation, for example, is a pretty unfortunate thing. Also having a ton of hair to wash daily, or people asking me what’s wrong if I step out of the house without any makeup on.
Emotionally speaking, I tend to be all over the place. Some girls never really grow out of it, I think we just get really good at concealing the turmoil brewing underneath the surface of our oil-free foundation and bangle bracelets. There have been a few times when I have mused over what it must be like to be a guy and have the ability to roll out of bed and look good, or to eat a whole bag of Cheetos without stressing out over the caloric content.
But then I realize that if I were a guy I would have to date girls, which in my mind negates everything else.
In the past weeks I have had several conversations and have received emails from a lot of my guy friends in response to my question, “What do girls do that annoy you the most?” Originally one article, I have now expanded this into a series entitled “Girls Are Annoying.” I hope that it gives you at least a little insight into how guys and girls work.
Part I: We like to play games, but guys just don’t get it.
In the words of a guy we’ll call “Phil,”
Put yourself in [a guy’s] shoes. You see a beautiful specimen in front of you, commonly known as a “hottie,” and you have to somehow find a way to talk with her and get her to like you enough so you can get her number. To coax her enough into possibly wanting to hang out again, whilst somehow being charming enough, funny enough, conversational enough, good looking enough to where she may actually let you take her on a date. Not the easiest task for your average guy.
Attempting to date a girl is a tricky thing—most men fake it till they make it. So when a girl thinks she’s being strategic in playing hard to get, a guy just sees a girl who isn’t interested in him and moves on. We (ladies) do a lot of weird things thinking we are luring a guy in.
Example: Ever stood near a guy without saying anything hoping HE would initiate conversation? What about purposely avoiding eye contact, or starting up a conversation with another guy in the room in hopes the other guy would get just a little bit jealous? I’m guilty of all three, unfortunately.
This situation could also swing to the other end of the pendulum. Before I began researching this, I gave guys a lot of flack for getting girls to emotionally invest in them and then move on. However, most of the guys I talked to mentioned how girls lead them on. I kept hearing this and rolling my eyes—yeah RIGHT. Girls are the victims here, aren’t we? Aren’t we?
Not always, apparently. Think about it: When a guy is interested in a girl, he’s usually pretty obvious. Girls know how to read the signs too—when a guy goes out of his way to spend time with us, sends random text messages during the day, and fully engages us in long conversations, we know something’s up.
I once talked to a guy who had a girl ask just him to have dinner with her at Olive Garden and he STILL had no idea that she was into him. Generally speaking, girls have the upper hand in deciphering the clues.
With all that in mind, sometimes guys fall into the category of attractive, but not date-worthy. That may have sounded harsh, but this is what goes on in the female mind: He may be fun to flirt with, but in reality the chemistry ends there, at least for her.
The cruel part about it all is that we usually know the guy is interested and know how to manipulate that for our own advantage (i.e. flattery or companionship). So while in his mind the guy is seemingly having his interest reciprocated, she’s dragging him along. Yikes.
So…at this point the situation seems pretty bleak. I have to admit I really don’t have any answers, just a lot of information.
Guys: Uncertainty isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it’s actually pretty common when attraction and romance are involved. All I can tell you is to just go for it. If you have the gumption to look her square in the face and ask her out, even if she says no, there’s honor in that.
And maybe the best I can do besides that is to tell all my homegirls to, in the words of John Mayer, say what you need to say. But you’ll have to wait a week or so to hear more about that.